


Collector's Item

by Missy



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Action Figures, Caper Fic, Crime Fighting, Ensemble Cast, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Live Action Roleplaying, Phobias, Police, Secretly a Geek, collectibles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 17:16:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11384769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Jake comes up with a way to track down a thief who's been raiding high-class events in New York for weeks - trap him at Comic Con!  Unfortunately, Holt has a secret phobia preventing him from acting to the best of his abilities, and his backup Rosa would rather be anywhere than at a comic convention - or would she?  Can Jake save the day and get a super-sweet mint in package talking Deadpool figure before the clock runs down?





	Collector's Item

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thinlizzy2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/gifts).



> Thought i'd include a bit of everyone for you, though there's a super strong focus on the Holt and Rosa and Jake friendship here!

“I have it,” said Jake Peralta as he entered the Nine-Nine’s briefing room, “the perfect idea!” 

“So nothing, huh?” Gina said, voice mock-sympathetic.

Jake held up a large flier with a man’s glowering face on it. “Reuben Smith, AKA the Astrodome Burglar! The perp has gone from selling bootlegged movies out of a sweat shop to lifting thousands in jewelry at the last fashion week. We have footage of him making plans with his team to attend the Comic Con taking place a few miles away from the precinct!” He grinned. “I say we buy costumes, stake out the front door and bring him in.”

“Yes, Jake,” Holt said flatly. “That is certainly…an idea. But do you think that’s a good one? The convention’s quite large, and our manpower is…quite small.”

Amy laughed nervously. While Jake eyeballed his girlfriend the rest of the briefing room broke out into a spontaneous argument about the cost of costumes during convention season, the difficulty of hiding a large cruiser and the fact that no one wanted to stake out such a large area without some sort of out for the entire project.

“Okay, cool, good opinions - back to my idea,” he said, “I figured we could get hooked up with earpieces and use the van. I’ll take Rosa as my backup, and if you want in on this Captain, maybe you and Charles…”

“I’m afraid I don’t have the desire to attend a convention. There are many…things that don’t agree with me and conventions happen to be one of them.”

Jake made a soft, disappointed noise, as if he’d been told the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real. “But you’d be such a badass helper!” he said. “And I need somebody to look cool and kick butt for me if everything goes wrong!”

“Rosa can do that.”

“Can do better than that,” Rosa said, without looking up from her coffee. “I can probably break out the flame thrower. Does this bust need a flame thrower?”

“Yeah no, I’d rather not.”

“Why am I being sucked into this, anyway?” Rosa asked. She glowered up at him darkly, her smirk almost frighteningly angry. 

“Because you’re the best backup Holt and I could ask for. And I really want to catch this guy. AND I think that it might be worthwhile to scope out all of his locations before we even think of doing anything dangerous.”

“Danger’s your middle name, Jake,” Amy said, with some enthusiasm.

“Thank you. Now I have a perfect nickname for the Policeman’s Ball.” He added, “C’mon, Rosa, this is going to be fun, I promise you, and we’ll catch a bad guy and we’ll make him cry and I’ll let you punch him twice.”

Rosa tilted her head to the side and considered Jake’s words. “Tempting. Can I involve some stabbing or do you need me to shoot them?”

“I’ll even hold them still while you shoot them! That was a terrible idea,” he sighed.

“Fine, I’ll do it. How about you, Captain?”

“I suppose. But I’m only willing to run detail outside of the building.”

It wasn’t like Holt not to want to be close to where the action was. Jake was confused, but he put on a brave front. “Okay!” he said. “Let’s get ready to do this, people!”

The grumblings of his colleagues were like music to Jake’s ears.

 

 

****

**~~##################################################################################################~~**

 

 

Three days later, Jake was wearing a Thor costume. An amazing Thor costume, as far as he was concerned, though Amy had been super weird about it that morning before work, and Gina had called it a “tragic fashion Chernobyl”. He and Rosa were mingling among the crowd, trying to see if the sole informant he'd managed to track down had given him good information.

“Do you see anybody suspicious?”

Rosa, who was wearing a pink fairy costume, complete with a shiny wig, shook her head. “Nothing.”

“Damn it, Toby the Liar, you said you had the goods this time!” He paused and added, “Ohh, you win this round, Toby…” He picked up his radio, which he’d cleverly hidden in his Mjolnir. “Terry, do you have any other tips?”

“Nothing,” Terry said. “Jake, you aren’t invested in this case because there’s a new Deadpool exclusive figure coming out, is it?” asked Terry over the crackling radio.

Jake gasped. “No! Why would you ever think that? My Comic Con connection totally didn’t leave town without recommending me to a new guy!”

“It has neon swords,” Terry said suddenly. “They glow in the dark..."

“They're katanas! And while they may be sixty times cooler than normal KATANAS, my heart belongs to justice.”

“Jake!” Terry tutted.

“I’m going to catch this guy and it’s going to be great! Just trust me! Oh, and have you spotted the Captain?”

“He’s four blocks away. Actually, he offered to get us coffee.”

“Huh. I’ll grab him when I see him…That sounded wrong, I’m so sorry, red eagle out!”

The radio cracked off. Rosa pointed to a man a few feet away, suspiciously loitering near a large crystal statue of Sailor Moon.

“Looks like our perp.”

It did. A fission of excitement ran down Jake’s spine. “I’ll block the west exit and radio Terry,” she said.

Jake nodded, keeping an eye on the man, making sure that he wasn’t going to run.

But the man made no move to take the statue, leaving him with nothing to grasp. Jake tailed him but eventually lost the man in the enormity of the crowd.

 

 

****

**~~##################################################################################################~~**

 

 

Three hours later he found Captain Holt, drinking a coffee at the east end of the hall. He silently handed Jake a cup. “Have you found him?”

“Found and lost him,” Jake said. “Captain, I know this is an awkward question, but why are you avoiding going into the convention?”

Holt sighed deeply. “It began at my fifth birthday party. My mother asked my Uncle David to attend, dressed in the garb of a clown. I was unfortunately unprepared, and I…soiled my pants.”

“Oh my God. So you’re….You’re afraid of clowns?” Jake asked, the corner of his mouth twitching.

“Yes,” said Holt flatly. “I’m afraid of clowns.”

“I…” Jake sputtered, kept himself from laughing and straightened his shoulders, “I’m sorry, Sir. If it makes you feel better, I don’t like them either – and I didn’t see any clowns running around in there, either. Let’s go inside?"

“You’re never going to let me live this down,” Holt said through gritted teeth.

“I promise you I won’t tape pictures of clowns to the insides of various stalls in the men’s room.”

Two steps inside of the east wing and they saw him – Jake’s perp – and he was carrying a very large statue of Princess Leia in her Jabba’s slave outfit. 

“Freeze!” Holt shouted, barreling toward him, but the perp ran faster, plowing through the crowd. Jake grabbed his radio, “He’s in my sights! North exit! But he’s getting away!”

And in all of that desperation, he saw Rosa. Rosa, who had apparently been busy while she was out of their sights, for she’d managed to gather a rather large group of LARPers and was sprinting toward the scene at full speed.

“MARCHERS!” she barked. “ATTACK!” 

With that a group of mismatched, becostumed fans lurched out of the crowd and ran toward the running man.

Holt and Rosa and her gang closed in on them at the same minute. Holt made the arrest, Rosa held him in place, and Jake radioed for Terry.

This was totally why he wanted them on his team, he thought proudly to himself.

 

 

****

**~~##################################################################################################~~**

 

 

“Whelp, we got him,” Jake said. “And I lost my figure, proving that my love of sweet lady justice trumps all.”

“I’m proud of you, Jake,” said Holt. “And of Rosa and her friends, though they were something of an…illegal addition to the party.”

“Looks like you had fun after all,” Jake said. 

“I guess you’re right,” Rosa shrugged. “No shame in being a geek.”

“Speaking of geeking,” Holt reached into his jacket and withdrew a package from his pocket – when Jake looked at what he’d received, his eyes turned saucer-wide.

It was the Deadpool figure!

“How did you..?” Jake began.

“I have my sources,” Holt said. 

The sound of glee Jake promptly made caused Rosa to cover her ears and Holt to…well, not twitch a single facial muscle.


End file.
